Friday......Day Thirteen.......

We slept in a bit today and awoke at 8ish.......late for us.
I did some scrap booking and the girls visited with the children. Grace is very involved in the Nemo room and likes to
feed the babies. The nannies are very gracious and polite to us. Possibly the warmest of all the people we have come in contact with and they are used to the girls coming in and out of the rooms and interacting with the kids.

It is another pretty day but last night there was a terrific wind storm....probably why I didn't sleep very well.
I was ruminating about how we are going to manage with out the use of our own kitchen.
Poor me!!!

I keep thinking about China and how every time I come here it changes so. More affluent and more western. This is my
fourth time and I keep thinking it may be my last. It is a big world and there is so much to see and only so much time and money left to us. For the girls I hope it will be different. I hope they will come back several times even to just work on their Mandarin. It would be such an asset to be fluent in todays world.

This home is very well established and very well run. Derek keeps asking if we are being of any help as I had hoped. I would have to say no. It runs itself and I think we will come and go without having made any difference. Everyday tours of people come through. University students from the US; international school students whose parents are here in Beijing on contracts with big and wealthy companies from all over the world; today, a group of Chinese youngsters around 7 years old with their North America English teacher. Last Sunday I studied the congregation at Church. Wealth and privilege.

That in itself isn't such a bad thing I suppose but I wonder how it impacts on these children growing up in the Home. Are they confused by all these people who come through and take their photos and give them candy. They will run to anyone and reach up to be held and they will plant big kisses on any cheek and hug so tight. No doubt they enjoy the attention but it must be confusing at times too and it must be sad when someone they have connected with leaves. So many who come and then leave. It is always the cutest and the prettiest and the most demanding who get the most ooh's and ahh's. The nannies are sweet and mostly kind, occasionally a little harsh, but are they a family? Not as we think but maybe they are in some sense .There is so much I would like to say but can't. I feel guilty up in our big apartment with our fridge full of highly priced western food and our nightly movies. There is very often the sound of some child crying filtering up. While someone is cleaning and doing our laundry. It doesn't seem right but I like it.

The girls have played with Katie every evening and they are getting along so well. She is a sweet little girl of 9 1/2....the directors daughter. It must be difficult for her too. To make friends with all the visitors/volunteers and then they are gone and the next lot arrives. Lots of adults and not so many children her age.

I think things are changing for the better for the orphans in China too. I believe they are getting better care and the shift is to foster care in the community. China is now a very wealthy country as anyone who comes here can attest. There is also a huge
social and economic divide of which there can also be no doubt. The great majority of people are peasants and poor, but I think it is changing and since our first time here in 1997 it is almost unrecognizable.

I am told the running cost of the three or four facilities the Hope Organization funds is approximately $56,000 per month and there are about 144 children in this homes. That's $388 per child per month. They have some very good sponsors and do not
have to rely on fund raising. Robin and Joyce are at home here in China and I expect it is where they will end their days. They have made it their lives work to look after these orphans and they are kind and good people.

What Beth and Grace have gotten out of this experience is hard to say. Not sure if it is what I wanted them to see. It isn't that much different from home except we have a maid and a driver which we decidedly do not at home. Perhaps seeing the orphans and the way they are cared for is good because it is the new China. Isabel got to go to an orphanage and saw another view. She saw a baby die of malnutrition and neglect. It isn't that that is what I want the girls to see but I want them to realize what is going on in the world. Maybe they are too young and this will be a stepping stone to helping in another way. In Africa
or South America or Honduras or some third world country. These places are in need now more than China.

I am proud that I fulfilled our promise to China that every adopting parent is asked and that is to bring them back. Well, I have now brought back all three of my girls. They have had a small taste of China and seen the opulence and wealth and the small
poor villages. They have seen great privilege and wealth. They have seen orphans and foster homes and kids with deformity and disability and those without mothers and fathers. They have seen a little of their past. That is also a privilege and I thank
God for giving us the opportunity.

Okay off my soap box and apologies for anyone who thinks I am pompous et cetera, et cetera. Just thinking out loud people.
Dare say I will never figure it out but am open to any thought you may have.